Our Girls Come Home...Again

We returned to home educating our children three weeks ago.  I had homeschooled the two older girls before and while we loved being together, the whole experience was enough to make me question whether or not I really wanted to return to it, even though my girls said they did.

After two years of homeschooling, a fancy new concept in schooling came along.  A charter school broke through the sleeper hold of our local school district so I figured we’d give it a try.  I was smitten with the promises of this specific charter school, as well as the time away from fighting with my girls about doing school at home.  I figured someone else well-trained in tantrums, whining, complaining, negotiating, arguing, coercing, forcing, and oh yeah, the all-important curriculum content, could probably do a better job than me because I was certainly a failure.  Homeschool kindergarten had come and gone for Kacy and most of it was long gone even though the school year technically wasn’t over yet.  Her letter recognition was shaky.  Three-letter words were more of a road block than a stepping stone, but she loved numbers so I figured maybe I wasn’t a complete failure.  Storm learned and excelled fine, but complained every time I pulled her away from play time to sit still; at a table, while her sisters played around her, so she could focus intently on doing the book work in front of her face.  I couldn’t understand what the problem with homeschooling was.  So, off to school they went that first year of the fledgling charter school.

To be completely honest and fair, I will state outright that I do not fault the founding women or the teachers or the school for our choice to leave the compulsory educational system again.  Our choice was just that; our choice, not someone else’s fault.  Since it is still legal to choose how to educate our children in the United States of America, we are exercising our right to choose.  This time, my choice was not in haste or frustration or anger or fear, as my decision to homeschool in the past had been.  This time, I have taken our experiences from the past eleven years of parenting and learning with our kids, and I’ve realized that there’s nothing special to teaching my kids the things I want them to learn.  I’m choosing to home educate, but I will never homeschool or mimic school at home again.  That mistake I had already made, only to realize that it was a mistake destined for failure. 

As my home education philosophy goes, I want my girls to know how to pursue learning.  That’s it!  They all have an interest in reading and writing which might be the result of a solid foundation set by my passion for both or it might simply be that they would have liked it anyways.  They all also want to know basic math for various personal reasons such as money counting, understanding time and space concepts, and not wanting to feel as though they’re missing out on something basic by not having it.  So the part about getting them to want to learn things has already been achieved by the past decade of simply being involved parents. 

I’ve realized during this past year of studying them as learners that the “hard part” is actually quite easy and we’ve always done it naturally.  When asked questions, we answer them.  When given an opportunity to travel, we don’t just go somewhere.  We embark on adventure and choose fascinating things to experience together.  We explore everything in life, like kids always want to do.  Instead of shushing our girls and rushing them on to the next pre-planned, timed, synthesized, realistically enhanced, 4-D, life-like experience, we actually live life!

I’m honestly not being cheeky or putting anyone down who does not choose to pursue learner-driven home education, but in the same regard, I don’t think I should be put down for making the choice I’ve made either.  Yeah, it was a very difficult decision to leave the charter school.  We, as parents decided we wanted to bring our girls home again, but we gave them the final choice.  Really though, the only thing that’s hard to leave, is daily contact with the friends from there.  We love the people at that school from the director down to the newest students.  For this year though we get to see them regularly anyways.  Our youngest daughter, when given the choice, was independent and strong and asked that she be allowed to finish out the school year, despite the fact that her older sisters chose to home educate now.  We considered and agreed to her honest request.  Again though, the tie is mostly to the people.  Of course, she learns at school, but she learns so easily at home too.

Since we’ve embarked on this home education journey, rather than schooling or homeschooling, I’ve been questioned by many.  Some have honest curiosity.  One was indignant that I would not trust her to teach my child properly.  That was ironic, seeing as how she was not even someone who taught at my daughters’ school.  Some are regretful that they did not do this when their kids were younger because now their kids are teens and they barely know each other.  Others, an amazing number of others, simply don’t understand that this is even an option.  They’ve grown up in a system where they are told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and that they will do it despite having wanted otherwise.  Because of this, they trudge along with their blinders on, tasting the bitter bit of complacency in their mouths and never consider defying the norm.  To all of them, I’ve spoken honestly about our reasons and our desires.  While some will obviously never buck the system, I’ve seen a spark turn on in others.  There are other people out there that want something more out of their children’s childhoods too.  Equally as important, they want them to love learning even as adults; something that most grown-ups laid to rest under their blankets of obedience years ago.